Why Ethiopia?

A few days ago Stephen and I received our official letter of approval from our adoption agency, International Adoption Guides (IAG). We had been waiting for almost a month and a half after turning in the application to hear back from them that we had been approved. I actually haven't written any blogs about our adoption process so far because I wanted to get that approval back first. Not that I thought we wouldn't be approved, but just because I wanted it to be official before sharing everything I'm feeling with everyone.

When we opened the packet (a very thick one at that) we just stared at it for a minute, thinking about what it meant for us as a family. I can't believe it's finally happening! As Stephen put it, it feels like we've just taken a pregnancy test. :)

IAG sent us an official letter telling us what we should expect next as well as a very thick packet that's really more like a big contract that you have to initial every page and read thoroughly. We were so excited that we read the entire thing immediately, and it took several hours. We're already aware at how overwhelming this process is going to feel at times, but we are trusting God that He will guide us through this entire process. After all, if it was God that lead us to adopt then certainly He will see us through the process.

Our next step is to send in the "contract" as well as their agency fee of $4,500. This is the entire amount that IAG charges us. Some may think "Wow, why do they charge that much?" Our agency will be coordinating everything throughout the entire process from the mountains of legal paperwork, translation of the paperwork before sending it overseas to the Ethiopian government, our referral (finding us a child that matches our profile) and all of the travel and court details while we are in Ethiopia to bring our child home. It's quite extensive and usually takes a minimum of a year from start to finish so when when you think about all of the different factors, $4,500 isn't all that much to do all of that work.

We already love the people at IAG. Some of our friends that have adopted a couple of times highly recommended Jim Harding (the head of our agency), and our adoption Coordinator, Susan, has been so encouraging and attentive. It really helps to have people that will be there every step of the way!

We have currently raised $3500 of the $4500 that we need for the first payment (which goes to our agency). We have one month to raise the other $1000 and send it in with the contract. If we take longer than this to make the payment then our adoption is put on hold until we get the money. Then the next step is the homestudy which thankfully only costs $1500. We have to choose a homestudy agency (IAG has recommended a good one in our area) and they will do an in-depth 3 month evaluation of our home/health/finances/criminal backgrounds check/fingerprinting etc. that we have to submit to the Ethiopian government so that they will allow us to adopt from their country.

Again, some have said "Why doesn't the government make it easier to adopt from their country?" The current Ethiopian government really is a good government that has been striving to make Ethiopia more stable and healthy for years now. Unfortunately, because of sheer poverty and aids, the orphan crisis continues to grow at an alarming rate. All of the procedures that the government puts into place (from requiring the in-depth home-study to asking for yearly follow-up reports that show the well-being of the children after they are adopted) show that they really do care about their children. What if these procedures weren't in place? Then anyone could adopt regardless of if you have a violent criminal background or you're a sex offender or you have a life-threatening disease. These are put in place to protect the children. And the largest payment that we have is for the referral of a child. ($9000 if the child is under 3 yrs, $6000 if older than 3 yrs) This money goes back into the orphanages that they are struggling to even have enough of. Right now there are roughly 5 MILLION orphans in Ethiopia. In 2006, only 732 were adopted from the US.

So we move forward, prayerfully and optimistic that although we are at the beginning of a long and difficult process, the Lord will be faithful to guide us and provide for us every step of the way. I know when we hold our little boy in our arms for the first time that it will be completely worth it. That when I see my little girls hug him and kiss him and call him brother it won't even matter what we had to go through to bring him home. It's such a beautiful picture of how God adopted us as His own children. That when we were dead in our sins and enemies of God, He came and died for us to make us His own. He didn't have to but He wanted to.

Please pray for us throughout this adoption. Also, we are selling coffee to help with some of these initial costs so if you haven't gotten any, would you consider buying a bag? Stephen and I are also about to start recording a cd called Adoption Art that will be available later this year or early next year. We so appreciate your prayers and support! Thank you so much!

Home

So we survived the crazy summer of traveling (and moving!) and are settling into our own home quite nicely. :) I actually enjoyed traveling this summer more than any other year which is funny considering all of the different changes and adjustments we have been going through. It could have been very stressful, but by God's grace we were able to relax and trust that He is indeed in control over everything.

The "mansion" as we called it went under contract shortly before beginning our summer travels so we had to move everything out before leaving. But we still had at least a month before we would be able to close on our own house. So we stuffed our things (mainly clothes and some boxes) into our already full storage unit and then some in the basement of our "future" home. (It helps to be friends with the home-owners in situations like this!) And then we left.

We were at a different camp each week, and looking back I can't believe how incredible pretty much all of them were. We've experienced the full range of youth camps, from challenging and difficult to absolutely amazing but this year it was full of amazing camps that had incredible leadership, great accomodations, and actually decent food with the exception of when we ALL got food poisoning. But that was the hotel's fault and luckily it only lasted 24 hours. Really, eating lukewarm chicken fajitas should be a red flag anyway. :)

The funny thing is, we HAD to leave the morning that we were all sick so that I could make my flight that evening (which we missed of course) so we all piled into the car for an 8+ hour drive. We stopped countless times to take turns throwing up. And finally that evening, after having not thrown up for a few hours, we stopped to eat since we were all so hungry. We were so scared to eat anything, though, for fear that it would make us throw up again. So we reluctantly stopped in a little town that really only had one decent dining option... Chick-fil-A. Remember, we had just gotten so sick on chicken fajitas. :) We all thought it was pretty funny to be eating chicken after getting sick on chicken. But then again, Chick-fil-A has some pretty awesome chicken. And I'm not one to be overly-dramatic and swear off chicken just because some person at a hotel can't cook properly. ha ha So the running joke in the band now when something goes wrong is, "Hey, at least it isn't food poisoning!"

Anyway, one of the things I liked the most about this year, besides most of the camps being very family-friendly, is that we met quite a few people that are also going through the adoption process. It was so encouraging to meet people that are experiencing the same things that we are and that have the same passions. It was definitely a special time for us.

It was also my favorite summer so far because it is so obvious that God is putting such a passion for mercy, justice, and compassion in the entire band, not just Stephen and I. This summer is was much more than just leading worship for students. Yes, that is awesome. But the guys were able to share about how incredible it is to be able to live out your faith by your actions. To care about what God cares about. He says that he will accept those who feed and clothe the needy, take care of the stranger, and visit the sick and imprisoned, but that those who don't do those things he will reject. That when you neglect others it's like you are neglecting Christ himself. That's a huge statement. No, you cannot earn your way to God. It is by grace you have been saved. But the Bible also says you will be known by your fruit, and that if you do not bear fruit you will be cut off the vine.

Simply put, we can't be hypocrits! Don't say you believe something when your life does not reflect it. This is an easy thing to say, but much harder to do. Still, it is so exciting to see how God is working in this ministry and in our own lives. To be able to look back and see how much God has grown us and shaped us. We have a long way to go, but, by his grace, we are going!

Parenting

Parenting is one of the scariest things you can possibly do. I mean, seriously! We are completely responsible for the well-being of another person... their physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being. And one of the things that is so difficult as you watch your children grow is to see them make mistakes. You wonder "Am I being too easy on them?" and then you think "Wait, am I being too strict with them? After all, they're just children. They can't be expected to behave like adults." And then you see them do something that you do. Perhaps a bad habit that you are trying to break. For sure, the hardest part of parenting is leading by example in every area of your life.

Everyone has heard the saying "Do what I say, not what I do." But certainly that is completely opposite of how we are to parent according to the Bible. We teach our children what is acceptable by how we act and react to everything in our lives.

For me, the hardest part about parenting is being consistent. My friend said the other day that we often think our children go though fazes where they will be really good one week and difficult the next. But while certain factors definitely affect our kids (like lack of sleep or unhealthy eating habits), many times it is us as parents that can throw our kids off balance. I'll notice when I am consistent regarding discipline with the girls they behave really well. When I follow our rule of "You get a warning, but if you ignore the warning you get into trouble" my girls don't try to push the limits as much. But if we've had a crazy week, and I'm tired and I let the "little things" slide, they start pushing the limits with everything.

Kinsey is six and a half, and I love having conversations with her about stuff like this because she is so smart. One time, as I was tucking her into bed, I reminded her of the importance of being obedient and how she can always tell us if she is having a hard time with something. She told me, "I want to obey, but sometimes it is so hard! I want to do what is right, but my brain tells me to do something different."

It's hard to see your children struggle with self-control the same way that we as adults do too. There is no solution to offer them to take the struggle away. We will struggle with sin our entire lives. But praise God that he is so much better than any of the things we struggle with. He's better than the short-lived pleasure we experience when we sin. The joy we find in knowing and following him far outweighs anything this world has to offer. And the more we let this truth guide our lives, the more our children will see us lead them by example and not just by our words.

Our children's view of everything, especially their view of God, is shaped by us. What a huge responsibility! What a great privilege we have! Parenting is one of the greatest privileges we could ever have. It's one of life's greatest blessings.

Peter and Calvin

Have you ever wanted to help children living in poverty all over the world, but you don't feel you are able to adopt right now? We sponsor two little boys through Compassion International, and it has been one of the most rewarding things we've ever done!

Calvin is six, and he's from Ghana. He was four when we started sponsoring him. That first picture we received of him is so memorable. He had the sweetest smile. He doesn't say much in his letters, usually just things like "You're my friend" and "I love you" (They have translators that write everything down in English for the younger kids.) But Calvin loves to draw pictures. I love his drawings because they are so simple. A ball, a tree, a truck. He recently became a big brother, and he says he loves to help his mother take care of his baby sister.

Our other sponsored child is Peter, a 10 year old little boy from Uganda. (He was 8 when we started sponsoring him) The first picture I saw of him still haunts me. He was standing in front of these huge shady trees, wearing a dirty suit that was much too big for him, and he was barefoot. He didn't smile. He looked as if he had been crying. Most of the children's profiles show a picture of a child with a big smile on their face, as if to say "Choose me!" but Peter looked so sad.

Compassion provides paper and pre-stamped envelopes for you to be able to correspond with your child. The letters go to that country's Compassion office, where they sort them and any gifts that were sent, and then send them on to the villages or towns. I remember the first letter we wrote to Peter. We told him how glad we were that we were able to be his sponsors. We told him that we loved him already, and that God loves him too. He wrote back, telling us little things about his life.

It's been two years since then, and I get so excited when we get a letter from him in the mail. Today we received one. He started by saying how excited he was to receive our gift. We sent him $25. (I tell you this simply to show how something little can be HUGE for these kids!) This is something we do a few times a year for each of the boys. Our monthly sponsorship provides them with food, medical care, and school. The gifts are special for them as they are able to spend it on whatever they wish. (FYI- when we went on our Compassion trip to El Salvador last fall we were told that 95% of the time when a child receives a "general gift" (as they call it) the child spends it on food, because their families are so poor and that is the greatest need.)

Peter sent a picture of himself with the things he had bought. A new shirt, pants, and shiny black shoes. A soda and piece of candy. And a goat. He smiled proudly with his arm around the goat's neck. I'm not sure if it is a milking goat, or if they will eventually eat it. For now, I'm sure it makes a nice pet. :) He went on to ask us to pray for him to do well in his studies. (Children that do well in school through Compassion's program are able to get scholarships to go on to college!) And at the end he said that his family wanted us to know how much they love us, that they love us with a great love. I cried when I read that. :)

I can't even begin to explain how amazing it is to be able to make a difference in a child's life. To form a relationship, a friendship with them. To show them God's love, not just tell them about it. We are very privileged people to grow up in America where not only our basic needs are met, but most of us have houses and cars and nice clothes. Our children don't have to go to bed hungry. They have plenty of toys to play with and movies to watch. It's easy to forget that this isn't the case with most of the world out there, especially when many of us have never been to another country where things are completely different. I know I was shocked and convicted when I saw how differently so many others live for the first time.

Perhaps God blessed us with an abundance of wealth and resources, not to pamper and spoil ourselves and our children, but to use it to help others? This is what God has been showing me the last few years. I wasn't born in America because God cares more about me more than the children born in poverty. Why has God blessed America? What has God blessed me? I am convinced that he has given to me so that I may give to others.  Maybe we're only blessed in order to bless others.

www.compassion.com

Here we go!

So I've been wanting to start a blog for a while now. I love to write. Honestly, if I had to pick a career outside of the home it would likely have something to do with writing. I'm blessed that I get to stay home with my girls instead of working outside of the home, though. Some women really enjoy having a career while others enjoy being home with their kids. I'm one of those women that absolutely loves being able to be with my kids at home. However, like every SAHM I realize my need for adult conversation. :) So here we go! On this site you will find everything from updates about the Miller family to our thoughts on our faith, marriage, parenting etc. Thanks for reading!