Day 1 in Ethiopia

What a day we’ve had so far and it’s only 5pm here right now. This morning we woke up and had a nice breakfast in our guest house with the other three families that came at the same time as us. We love the other couples already, and have spent the day with them first visiting our kids, then eating lunch at one of the local restaurants, then doing a little bit of shopping for souvenirs. It’s been good to have others around that you can not only relate to, but to laugh and cry with. One of the couples is adopting a little boy that is best friends with our four-year-old, Surafel. They happen to live in Houston, TX so we are already talking about planning a meeting once or twice a year for the boys to see each other.

We went over to the care center this morning around 9:30 and were able to stay for a couple of hours. We pulled up to the gated pink building, and as we entered we heard the nannies start calling the kids to come down and say hi. As we walked into the building, the first child I saw was our little Esrael (2 years old) standing in the hallway, wide-eyed and timid. I went up to him and bent down to look into his eyes. I looked at the nanny and said, “This is Esrael, right”. She said, “Yes, yes! Esrael.” I picked him up and said “Seulam” which means “Hello”. He put his little arm around my neck but looked terrified, like he had no idea what was going on. Then Surafel came running down the steps and out the door. The nanny called him back and pointed to Stephen and told him that this was his new dad. He stopped quickly and looked up at Stephen. Stephen held his arms out and asked to pick him up and he let him hold him. They stood there for several minutes with Surafel’s arms around Stephen’s neck and his head on his shoulder.

Then Stephen took him to the front steps and opened the large bag of toys and snacks that we brought. He picked up the two stuffed animals first and ran to Esrael to give him one. Esrael hugged it and we went over and sat on the steps too. I quickly realized that Esrael LOVES cars and planes. Those are the main things he wanted to hold. For the first hour we were there Esrael seemed timid and quiet. Stephen gave Surafel one of the juice boxes that we brought, which he loved, but Esrael didn’t want to eat or drink anything at first. I didn’t see him smile or really play much. He just watched everything. After a while, Stephen passed out some little chocolates to all of the kids (there were probably about twenty at this care center, not including those in the infant room). We gave Esrael a piece of chocolate, which he surprisingly took and started to nibble on. I watched and took pictures and video as it started to melt on his fingers and he would lick it off and put it in his other hand, then lick that one and switch back. It was so cute, and he ended up with it all over his hands and face. After that he let me pick him up again and clean him up and put a new shirt on him that had cars on it. He kept saying “Makina!” which means “car”. When I showed Surafel his new shirt and shorts and shoes he ran up and cried “Ah!!” and quickly put them on. He looked so proud!

All of the kids were called to an upstairs room for lunch and the parents sat on the couches and helped our kids eat. They were served injera, the flat bread, with lentils on it. Each child sat, and even the one-year-olds knew how to feed themselves . I watched as Esrael picked a piece of injera up, dipped it in the sauce, blew on it, and put it in his mouth. This was the cleanest I’ve ever seen a two-year-old eat! Meanwhile, Surafel sat in Stephen’s lap and was fascinated as Stephen showed him how to play Angry Birds on his iphone. I took soooo many pictures and video that I hope to be able to share soon. It’s really hard to find internet here, and when you do it’s goes off and on.

After lunch is when Esrael really warmed up to me. We played in the upstairs hallway with a bouncy ball for a few minutes before it ended up going over the railing and landing in the court yard. I held my hand out to see if he would hold it while we went down the stairs. He grabbed it and we walked down together to get the ball. On the way up, I walked behind him and he took it step by step. When we got half way up, he turned around and held his arms up for me to hold him. It was the first time he initiated it. I picked him up and gave him a hug, and he looked at me for a second and then said, “Amaye” which means mommy. I almost cried right there. We spent another hour or so with the boys, playing in the courtyard with bubbles, balloons, cars and trucks. Stephen and Surafel had a game of catch going with one of the balloons and he ran over and pulled me in to join. Esrael then wanted to sit in my lap, and he let me feed him a cookie and juice box. Then we sat on the floor and played with the trains and cars going “vroom! Vroom!!” It was so adorable. I took a picture of Esrael with his tongue stuck out to the side and when I showed it to him he couldn’t stop giggling! We were really becoming friends!

We had to go shortly after, and while Esrael gave us a hug and kept playing like any two-year-old would do, Surafel’s face dropped when he realize we had to go. Stephen picked him and and hugged him so tightly and kept saying “It’s okay. We’ll be back tomorrow. I love you. You’re my boy.” The nanny translated for him, but Surafel started to cry. We all hugged and started crying before climbing into the van with the other families that were also in tears. I can’t wait to go back to them tomorrow. We have the option of bringing them to our hotel, and while all the families agree that it would be too confusing for the kids if we keep them with us overnight, we are going to bring the boys to stay here for the day tomorrow or the next day along with the other family that has the boy that is best friends with Surafel. That way we can have all day to play with them, and maybe get them some ice-cream and play games.

We’ll try to update some more tomorrow. There’s so much to say, but I think most of it will have to wait until we’re back in the US. I hope to upload at least a few of the many pictures we took, though. We are already so in love with these boys!!

Traveling to Ethiopia

So much has progressed in the adoption of our two little boys since I last wrote about it. It seems like every day there is something new. We received our court date back in February for April 13th, which means we are leaving next friday (one week from today) and will stay there for 5 days. The flight over there is more than 24 hours long so we will be gone a whole week, but we'll only be in Ethiopia for 5 of those days.

We had quite the scare last month when MOWA announced that they were going to reduce the number of international adoptions in Ethiopia by 90% effective almost immediately. We prayed and prayed because this meant that it would slow down the process so much that our boys would have to wait until next year to be brought home rather than just another couple of months. This was truly heart-breaking news. But the head of MOWA resigned and whoever is now in charge has made the reduction much milder and is letting families that already had a court date keep theirs. Praise God we still get to bring them home soon!

We are so close to meeting our kids. I can't help but think about what it's going to be like to see them in person, to play with them, to hopefully hold and hug them if they'll let us. Stephen and I have been brainstorming on ways to make our first meeting as comfortable and fun for them as possible. One of the few ideas that we are going to do is that we are going to bring a small guitar with us (to leave with them to play with) but Stephen will be able to play little songs and sing with them in hopes that it may help bring down some of the barriers between us, being that we are still strangers to them and speak a different language. Children love music so we're hoping this will help.

Up until this point in the process I've been pretty stable emotionally. Certainly we get really excited at times and truly sad for them, their birth mom, and the orphan crisis in general as well at times. But yesterday was my first day where I really almost lost it. Okay, I actually did. We had a fun busy day, and that evening Stephen put the girls to bed while I went to the Target to get groceries and some more items for our trip next week. I was standing in the toy section trying to pick out a stuffed animal, or lovey as we call it, that we can give to each of the boys to sleep with and hold on to when we have to leave after our court date. I feel like the weight of everything just suddenly hit me, how precious our time with them is going to be and how hard it will be to leave without taking them right away, and as I stood there holding a light blue elephant for Esrael, our two-year-old, I literally almost burst into tears. Luckily I was able to keep it together until I got home. I made it two steps inside the house and then proceeded to do so in front of my husband. I'm so grateful to have a husband that is so gentle and loving, that knows just what to say and how to pray for me. And when to offer me some chocolate too. :)

This is such a hard thing to go through. I'm not talking about the financial aspect, or the paperwork, or even so much the waiting to bring them home. What is wrecking me out is the reality that our boys have been through so much pain losing their father, being abandoned by their birth mother, living in an institution right now. I think about how Keira sometimes wakes up at night and I hear her crying, "Mommy! Mommy!". And I run to get her, to let her know that I'm still here and that she's okay. And I think about not only our boys, but the other 5 million+ orphans in Ethiopia that cry out for their parents and no one comes. God, if it is this heartbreaking for me, what is it like for these little children?

We're praying for strength moving forward as we prepare to go to Ethiopia. This is such a special time for our family. We are certainly going to be taking lots of pictures and video, and I know this is going to be something we will cherish forever. Our first meeting... with our own children. I would do anything for them, and I haven't even met them yet. Thank you, Lord, for these two precious little boys.

We most likely have the opportunity to meet their birth mother. This is something that is extremely important to us, and we are going to try to do this if at all possible. I want to be able to sit down with this woman and ask her her story. I want to tell her that we are going to love and nurture these little boys just like our own biological daughters. I don't know why she left them, especially on the streets. Surely she loves them? Though most of the kids that end up in orphanages do so because they lost their parents to aids, many are there because they lost one parent and the other couldn't afford to even feed them. When I read that the average monthly income in Ethiopia is $23, and the cost of food in Ethiopia is similar to America, I can start to see why so many parents are saying they can't take care of their children. To eat even one small meal a day as a family can exceed the average income.

All of this to say, we are SO for international adoption. We truly love it, but it is not going to solve the orphan crisis in Ethiopia. Not when the number of orphans in Ethiopia is rising by the millions every couple of years, and that is not an exaggeration. While we are in Ethiopia next week we will be meeting with a man that lives in Ethiopia that we met at an orphan conference recently. He is working with a ministry called Seeds Adoption that is working to provide resources and tools to the growing churches in Ethiopia in hopes to equip these pastors to be able to address these issues in their own communities. This is really an incredible opportunity for anyone to get involved. I'm attaching a short video for Seeds Adoption if you are interested in what it's all about.

Please be praying for us as we prepare for all of this. We are so excited and can't wait to see our boys and experience the beauty and culture of Ethiopia. I'm sure we'll have plenty of pictures to share when we get back, and we hope to be updating daily on facebook while we're there. Thanks for your prayers and support!

http://vimeo.com/21771950

Keira

My baby girl is about to turn 5 years old in a week! She is such a joy in our lives. I love her big personality, and how passionate she is about anything and everything. :) She's one big ball of energy! She's strong-willed which can be hard when say, I'm trying to dress her in something she doesn't like (The other day I made her wear a dress she didn't like to church and she said dramatically "Everyone will hate me for wearing this!") But I see the strengths of her strong-willed nature already playing out as well. She's not afraid to stand up for a kid that's being picked on at the playground which I witnessed the other day. Fear does not keep her from doing anything she sets her mind to. And though she is outgoing and energetic, we've recently realized that she does really well with a little bit of quiet alone time too. That's definitely how I naturally recharge, but I didn't see it until more recently that she is the same way. And my goodness, she says some of the most hilarious things! We always find ourselves laughing from her statements. She's a pretty witty kid. :)

I love watching her growing excitement about her brothers. She's said some pretty cool statements lately. The other day at dinner we were all talking about how we are going to sometimes eat Ethiopian food for dinner now. She said she likes the Injera (flat bread) and the chicken and eggs, but when it came to lentils she said the following. "Well, I don't think I like that food very much, but I SURE do love my brothers!" (Or as she says it, brudders) :)

Last week we were at Wal-mart picking up a few painting supplies and all of the sudden she exclaimed at the top of her lungs "Look mommy!! That person has brown skin just like my brothers!!!" And before we left the store we browsed the toy section so that I could get an idea of what Keira would like for her upcoming birthday. She found several things that she really liked, but as we started to walk away she said, "I think I want a barbie with brown skin cause I want it to look like my brothers."

My little Keira bear is such a precious gift to us. She truly brings so much joy to our lives, and I feel so blessed to be her mommy!

She just walked up to me, leaned her head on my shoulder, burped really loud, and then said very matter-of-factly, "Well, you did that." Ha! Yep, that's my Keira. :)

My surgery

So my blogging has been put on hold for a little while mainly due to the fact that I ended up having back surgery. It's funny that there is so much going on and so much that I want to share, but often in those times I find I don't have the time to actually write it down. :)

As I shared in my last post, I had corrective scoliosis surgery when I was a teenager. Everything had been fine, but over the past couple of years I've noticed my back pain coming back more and more frequently until it seemed I was always in pain. So I had an appointment, and my doctor realized that it was the metal rods that they had placed along my spine during the last surgery that was causing the pain. They were no longer needed to be in since their purpose is simply to keep my spine straight while that section of bone fuses which only takes a year or so.

All that to say, we decided to go ahead very quickly and have surgery to take out the rods. It certainly wasn't something that I would want to deal with after bringing our boys home from Ethiopia soon. Everything these past few weeks have seemed like a whirlwind, but God has been so gracious to give us peace during all of it.

One funny little side note. As I was getting prepped in the surgery room I started to become a little nervous with thoughts of what if something went wrong. I prayed for God to give me courage and to trust him to take care of me. And then my anesthesiologist came into the room and started talking to me in a very heavy Russian accent. Guys, if you know me, you know that one of my favorite movies in the whole world is the cartoon Despicable Me where the Russian villan ends up adopting three little girls. My friends can testify that the only accent I can actually do is a Russian accent, so we get a lot of laughs from it. So I think I literally dozed off from the anesthesia with a smile on my face. haha

My family and I have received an overwhelming amount of support from friends, and we are so thankful for all of the meals and babysitting that has been provided for us while I recover. I'm almost back to normal now, which I thank God for because I have two little girls to take care of and a trip to Ethiopia for the court date for our boys in a week and a half now! And that will be in my next post. :)

Suffering

I'm going to tell you a story that I don't often share, partly because it didn't make much sense to me until more recent years.

When I was a little girl I was diagnosed with Scoliosis. It was a mild case for quite a few years, but as I entered my teenage years it worsened to the point that I needed to wear a back brace at night to try to help correct the curve. Wearing a brace at night will stop scoliosis from becoming worse about 80% of the time. It will make it better about 10% of the time, and the other 10% of the time it will continue to get worse despite the brace. I was one of those cases where my back continued to worsen and about the time I was 16 it became so bad that my doctor was suggesting surgery in order to correct it as much as possible. My spine had a "S" shaped curve which helped in a sense because my back was still pretty balanced, and it didn't interfere with my ability to play sports or run track, but because it was worsening so quickly at the end, my doctors said it would eventually affect my organs if I never had surgery.

As a child I would lay in bed at night crying and praying, "God I know you can heal me! I believe you can. Please, oh please make me better!" I was begging God for a miracle, and in his goodness he gave me one. However, it didn't come in the form that I, in my childish mind, expected.

I went on to have surgery, and it was more effective that even the doctors anticipated. My spine was almost completely straight. But even after the surgery I continued to wonder why God didn't just heal me himself. Why did I have to go through all that hardship and pain? I had pleaded with God for a miracle. Why didn't he give me one?

As an adult I've come to realize that there is a reason why many times God does not miraculously heal people. I struggled with the answer to this problem for many years. But the truth is that it might be an even bigger miracle how God changes a person's heart through the suffering he continues to allow. Healing a person's body, yes that's a miracle. But changing a person's heart? That's truly something only God can do.

If I never had to deal with this issue from an early age, if God had just miraculously taken it all away from the beginning, I know that I would be a completely different person today. It set me on a different path. It has taught me a deeper level of compassion that I would not know otherwise. It has taught me to value other people that are sick, hurting, or living in poverty. It has taught me of the deep love that God has for me. That he loves me enough to lovingly and gently say no when I want something so badly in order to make me more like him. It has taught, and continues to teach me, to trust God in all circumstances.

Suffering is actually a blessing in disguise because it causes us to look upward for God to meet our needs and outward, to sympathize with others, which in turn starts to melt away some of the self-centeredness that is in all of us. I can look back and see how all of the hard things in life so far have been a blessing and have served to shape me and grow me more into the person I want to be... the person God wants me to be. This is how God teaches us and how we ultimately grow and mature. It's a process that will continue as long as we live.

Why does it shock us when God places us in difficult circumstances? So often we think that something is wrong, but I'm convinced that if we want to grow we have to embrace our suffering and look to learn from it instead of trying to run from it. It doesn't mean we don't get treatment from an illness or counseling during a hard time or anything like that. But it does mean that when suffering comes into our lives we should stop dwelling on the question, "How do I make it stop?" and start asking, "Lord, what do you want to teach me through this?" When we look at our troubles in this light, it makes a lot more sense when the Bible tells us to do things such as to rejoice in our suffering. We rejoice in our suffering because it is making us more like Christ!

Romans 5:3-5 "We rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us."

Update on our adoption

We are continuing to work hard on completing the adoption process so that we can bring our boys home! Things have been moving so quickly, and I keep thinking that it will probably slow down soon. I think I feel this way because we were prepared for a really long journey, and we only officially started the process this past August! Also, there are so many variables in the adoption process that can affect things so we want to be prepared for any unexpected bumps in the road. I'm trying to not have any expectations since this is completely out of our control. :)

We completed our homestudy before the holidays, and sent off our dossier (official paperwork) overseas. It's currently being translated and then will arrive in Ethiopia. This is usually the point in the process where families wait 3-6 months to be matched with a child. Since we found the boys on a waiting list and already accepted their referral we get to skip this part! We talked with our adoption coordinator from our agency, and she told us last week that they are working hard on getting us our travel dates already! We should know our exact dates in about 6 weeks, and actually travel 3-4 weeks later!

In the past, adoptive parents only had to take one trip to Ethiopia for their court date and to bring their child(ren) home, but the law now requires two trips. The first one is for your court date, and then you have to go home and wait about 3-4 weeks before being able to get your child(ren). We were told that what this will most likely look like for us is that we will find out our travel dates the beginning of March, travel to Ethiopia for our court date the beginning of April, and bring the boys home the beginning of May. It could go faster or slower but it will most likely be close to these times.

Stephen and I have decided that we both should travel for both trips. At first we were thinking that only he would go on the first trip for the court date because only one parent is required to be there, and plane tickets to Ethiopia are extremely expensive. We also didn't think that we'd be able to see the boys on the first trip. But we just found out that if we aren't both there for the court date, we have to officially re-adopt them once they are in the states which takes time and money.

We also found out that we can see the boys on the first trip! I was under the impression that the boys were in an orphanage still, but they are actually in one of our agency's private care centers. So we could just extend our trip for a couple of days and spend some time with them after our court date. I am, of course, worried about how they will handle spending time with us for a few days, and then us leaving for 3-4 weeks before returning to bring them home. But I also think it might be really good for them to become a little more familiar with us before we bring them home. I'm also very relieved that they are in our agency's care center because they are probably receiving much better care and attention there than they would be in one of the Ethiopian orphanages.

Our agency is doing a great job of trying to help us prepare emotionally for meeting them. It's easy to have preconceived ideas of what it will be like, and how they will react to us. They have been very up-front and honest about how toddlers in particular usually react to meeting their adoptive parents. Older children have been waiting for a family long enough that they are excited to meet their new parents, and babies don't know the difference. But to toddlers, you are just strangers. Many of them are very scared at first, and it takes time for them to even feel comfortable enough for you to hold them. Obviously each child is different, but we want to be prepared to handle whatever their reaction to us is. Just like with any person, it takes time to build trust and to bond.

Please continue to pray for us as we move forward. We so badly want to finish this process and have our boys home! It's hard to think of them being in a care center without a family and wondering if anyone is showing them love and kindness. I can't wait until they are home. Until I get to tuck them in at night and say prayers. Until we get to make blueberry pancakes together for breakfast. Until I get to see them playing with their sisters. Until I get to show them how much they are truly loved. I know it's going to take time to adjust, but no matter how much work it takes, they are worth it. They are my children.

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

It's a new year!

Wow, it's been such a busy season! It feels like the past couple of months were just a blur filled with holiday activities and parties and lots of traveling. Although I loved every minute of it, I am relieved to be settling into a normal routine again. :)

I love this time of year because I feel that it's such a great time to reflect on all that God has done in the previous year and look forward to seeing his faithfulness displayed in our lives in the coming year. Looking back, I can't help but want to praise God for all that he has done this past year! We've gone through so many changes over the past 12 months, but we've continued to be encouraged because we see God at work all around us! Here are a few of the things from this past year that I'm thankful for...

- For new friends that we've found here in Saint Louis. Before moving, one of the things that Stephen and I identified as crucial for us is being able to build deep and authentic relationships with others. We realized before moving that we are responsible for seeking out these meaningful relationships, and so we've been trying to be very purposeful in that. I think that because we were truly looking for it, and allowing others to really be in our lives, we were able to make some of these relationships. And I can definitely see how this has been a huge part in us being able to transition to our new lives in Saint Louis well!

- Our community group. We started leading a Bible study in our home this fall that has been so incredible for us. This definitely goes right along with the meaningful relationships that I just mentioned. There is something so refreshing about being open with others about what you're going through. To have a community where you are able to be vulnerable, and they can speak truth into your life is priceless. We are so thankful for these people!

-For our church! We are so blessed to be serving in a church that is seeking to make a difference in this city and beyond. I am thankful for the leadership of the Journey as they do the hard work of leading their people to follow Christ's example of laying down our lives for the spiritual and physical benefit of others. This church is excellent at challenging us to examine our choices and our motives and choose to live out what we say we believe. I am so thankful for this church!

- For our new home. We are so thankful to finally be settled in a home! Over the past year and a half we moved three times! From Houston to Austin, then Austin to Saint Louis, and then finally from our temporary housing here to our new home. This house has already been such a blessing for us, particularly the girls. They love their rooms and especially the backyard! :) As much as our family enjoys this home, though, we always want our doors to be open so that we might use this house to benefit others. We are so thankful to be in a home again!

- For our little boys that we are adopting. It was about a year ago that Stephen and I had decided to adopt from Ethiopia. Looking back, it has been such an adventure! People had warned us about how much hard work it would take, and boy they weren't kidding! But we've had such a peace about it throughout this whole process because we have seen God guiding us and providing for us each step of the way. It has been one of those things where we would come to the end of each deadline, and we'd have to pray and ask God to provide. He has been so faithful! We still have a ways to go, but we are so encouraged because we know without a doubt that God will see this through to completion. He is so good!

This coming year is going to continue to be full of changes and adjustments. We can't look into the future and see what it's going to look like, but we move forward with confidence and joy, knowing that God works all things together for the good of those who love him and who have been called according to his purpose. We hold loosely to our own plans, and ask that whatever this next year may look like, we just want God to use us to make a difference in this broken and hurting world. I really feel like the amount that we are willing to sacrifice is directly related with the amount of impact we will make. I think about people like Katie Davis. At the age of 19 she left behind her comfortable life and moved to Uganda. Now, at the age of 23, she has adopted 14 children, and helps feed over 1,000 people a day. She is such an amazing example that God can use us in significant ways if we allow him to! I attached a link to one of her blogs below that I thought was amazing.

As we begin this new year I'm reminded of a particular verse. This continues to be encouragement for me to persevere. This life is so short, and I want to make it count.

1 Corinthians 9:24 "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize."

http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/