We are not called to adopt

* I know that it is hard to get a feel for the "tone" of a blog, but I'd like to say starting out that this is meant to be a humble, gentle, yet honest blog about how I feel. :)

As I've shared about our adoption with various people there's one particular comment that has stood out to me the most when I hear it. It's the "You must be called to adopt" comment. People often respond to our story with a comment like "That's so great. Yeah, you definitely are called to adopt." I honestly disagree.

I have a bit of a problem with that statement for several reasons. Although I definitely love children and view them as truly a blessing in my life, Stephen hasn't always wanted to have more than a couple of children. In fact, several years ago as we talked about the possibility of having more children Stephen was quite skeptical about the idea. But over the period of a couple of years, God truly changed his heart on the matter. I contribute this change to a few things.

First of all, I prayed quite consistently that God would bring us to a place where we held the same view of children. I actually really prayed for God to give him a love for children. And as we moved forward in our ministry, we continued to ask God what it would look like for us to "act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." (Micah 6:8) We wanted this to not only be the motto of our ministry and band but also for our personal lives. We were seeking to truly be living what we were preaching.

So as we had more opportunities to not only work with organizations that were helping orphans and children in poverty but also first hand experiences seeing children in need, it broke both of our hearts for the more than 150 million orphans all over the world. When you see with your own eyes and you hold these children in your arms, you can't help but be changed. Truly, your perspective of what is really important and what you want your goals and dreams to be changes in this light. So I don't think that we are "called" to adopt anymore than the next Christian out there. But when I look at the extreme need that these millions of children have, and I read in the Bible that it says "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." (James 1:27) I can't help but think that the practical way to live out my faith in this area is to adopt an orphan. I'm not saying it's wrong if you don't adopt. That's truly not what I'm saying. Rather it's that Christians should be open to the possibility of adopting rather than placing the need of millions of orphans on a select few that are "called".

If only certain people were "called" to adopt, then that would mean that God has only called certain orphans to be adopted. Is it that only certain people are "called" to adopt or that only certain people are willing to adopt? I know that is a hard statement, and I am not judging people that don't adopt or aren't in a place that they are able to adopt, but how can we say that only certain people are called to adopt when God says in his word for Christians to look after the widows and orphans? The translation for "look after" does not mean send money to, but literally to take care of with your own hands. There are multiple ways to get involved in taking care of children in need, and certainly one of the most practical and needed ways is to adopt. So yes, I have a deep love for children, and I view them, as the Bible instructs me to, as a joy, a blessing, and a privilege. They are our future! Invest in children, and you are investing in our future. Want a better world? Invest in children.

That being said, I'm scared at times just like everyone else. The thought of going from two to four children overnight is intimidating at times. Stephen and I are not superhero parents that are immune to facing the same challenges as every other parent out there. But we look at God's command to take care of orphans and can't help but feel that it applies to us. We are not adopting because we are superhero parents that want to have "tons" of kids. And we're also not adopting begrudgingly simply because we were "told" to. We are adopting because our love for God has fueled a love for the things he loves. And I know he loves orphans, and calls his people to take care of them. He cares for each and every one of them. I cannot forget the faces of the children I've held in my arms. I can't forget what it felt like to have to put them down and walk away. God doesn't want us to forget.