Coming home! Not so fast...

So a little more time has gone by since my last post than I had planned. Go figure! :) I found that while I do enjoy blogging, I've been reluctant to use the few hours each evening after we put the kids to bed to blog. There's just so many other things that I can't really do with the kids awake so most of the time when I plan to blog it doesn't happen. But I think if I designate one evening a week to writing I'll stay fairly caught up. I'm finding that these days things always work best when it's planned out and scheduled in advance! :)

As I mentioned in my last blog, all flights out of Ethiopia are late in the evening so our flight left at 11 pm. We were prepared for a rough trip home, knowing that the boys would likely be sleep-deprived and cranky. (Not to mention we would be sleep-deprived!) However, we had no idea what was in store for us. Let me just put it this way. I think that this was one of the hardest two days of my life, and that is not an exaggeration.

As we walked into the airport, the boys were so excited to get on the plane. They pulled their little blue and red suitcases and kept exclaiming, "Aeroplan! Aeroplan!" But as we walked through the front door we immediately noticed a very long line for security. Within a couple of minutes Liam was saying, "Mommy? Toilet!" which is how the boys let us know they need to use the restroom. So I left Stephen and Jude Surafel with the luggage and asked the security officer if I could take Liam through security to use the restroom. Thankfully, it was ok, but when we finished he decided that he did NOT want me to take him back. Instead he wanted to run aimlessly around and try to stay out of my reach. I knew that the boys had had very little exposure to busy places so they had absolutely no concept that getting lost would be dangerous. I could also see that despite the fact that we had taken a long nap that afternoon, Liam was already very tired. As I caught him by the hand and picked him up, he started screaming hysterically. I mean, you would think that this child was being hurt or something because it sounded awful! I held him tightly as he tried to get free, and walked as calmly as possible back over to Stephen.

Every eye in the airport was on us, and I remember thinking to myself, "Yes go ahead and look. There's no way that you could possibly understand what's going on right now." It was only the beginning. We made our way through the check-in and immigration with Jude Surafel on Stephen's shoulders and Liam Esrael still hysterical. He cried and cried that I would not let him down, and I knew that sleeping was the only thing that was going to help him at that point. Still, it was hard to carry a screaming child through the airport for over an hour. And I hated that it probably looked like he didn't want to come with us to all of the people that kept staring at us. But I didn't expect anyone to saying something to us so I was a little caught off guard when an Ethiopian man walked over and said loudly, "Where is his mother??" Stephen turned around and took Liam from my arms as I said, "Um, I'm sorry? We are his parents." But that only agitated the man, and he started yelling, "Where is his REAL mother? He wants his REAL mother!" At that point one of the women that worked at our gate came over and said to him, "Sir, these are their adoptive parents and it's normal for children to cry before flying." We literally had to walk away because he wouldn't stop shouting, "He's crying for his REAL mother! That's who he wants!" Talk about ignorant. There are 5.5 million orphans in Ethiopia and starving people everywhere you turn, and he's assuming that the boys' "real" mother is even alive?? Up until this point we had been pleasantly surprised by how kind and gracious the Ethiopian people in general had been to us about adopting the boys so I was truly shocked to have been treated this way by that man.

Thankfully we were able to board a few minutes later. We had the four seats in the middle row, so Stephen and I sat on the outside and put the boys on the inside. Liam calmed down and both boys enjoyed playing with the tvs on the seats in front of them for awhile. But Liam started crying once again when he had to buckle his seat belt. This was another new concept for him because there were no seat belts in the car we rode in all week. I remember looking over at Stephen after he finally fell asleep and said, "Well, at least it can't really get any worse unless our plane crashes, right?" What a naive thing to say! ;)

Our first of two lay-overs was in Frankfurt which meant our first flight was only about 5 hours long, and the second one would be the longer one of about 9 hours. So I fully anticipated both of the boys to be exhausted when we got to Germany, but we figured it would be ok since we only had a one hour layover before heading to Chicago. Stephen and I had only slept a few hours on the first flight, so the plan was to just make it until the second one and we could all sleep then. Liam was right on cue when we stepped off the plane with his crying. This time Jude was also uncooperative, and Stephen had to carry him. Both boys would cry for a bit, then yawn and look around and cry some more. As if making a 25+ hour trip wasn't going to be hard enough for two little boys that were used to spending every day within the walls of the little care center, they were also getting very little sleep!

This would have been enough for me to have considered this a very hard trip, but it truly was only beginning. It quickly became clear to us that our connecting flight to Chicago had been canceled, and as we tried to go through immigrations to get to the desk to book a new one we were asked for the boys visas. This caused a huge problem because they were in a sealed envelope from the US embassy and we were told to not open it under any circumstances but to present it to US immigrations when we got to Chicago. This meant that I had to stay back with the boys while Stephen went through to try and get us a different flight. But by the time he got in line, he was the last of 300 other people who were also suppose to be on the flight to Chicago. I didn't think that a person could possibly have to stand in line for 4 hours just to book a flight, but that's how long Stephen had to.

When I realized Stephen had to leave me with both of the boys, who were at this point going through a wide range of emotions and behaviors from excited and trying to run away to angry and then back again to hysterical, I kept thinking, "Oh dear God, this is going to be insane. PLEASE let it go quickly and get us home, Lord!" I had become use to the stares from people each time one of the boys would freak out, but after a little while Jude just shut down completely (which is understandable for a 4-year-old that only got a few hours of sleep and was in a really scary environment for him). I had taken the boys to the restroom after already waiting for Stephen to return for several hours and as we tried to make our way through the busy pathway back to the table at McDonalds (the only place where we could at least sit down and look out the window at the planes) he just stopped walking. I gently tugged at his hand and said, "Come Surafel. Please. Lets go see the planes again." But instead of going with me, he sat down. Right there. In the the middle of a busy walk way. I knelt down with Liam still in my arms, and tried to coax Jude into standing back up, but he just stared at the ground, completely unresponsive, as if to say, "I've had enough of this." Liam had also had enough, but he displayed it in a much, um, louder way. He screamed and threw himself all around, occasionally trying to bite my shoulder in an effort to get free. I mean you really couldn't get a worse situation. One of my kids was about to get stepped on by the swarms of people walking back and forth and the other was trying his best to just run away. I had one in each hand, but I couldn't move. I was on the verge of completely bursting into tears. I got down in front of Jude with tears in my eyes and said, "Jude, look. Mommy is crying. Please. Come one." He looked at me and then looked down again. And that's when I started praying, "God, I can't handle this by myself. Please help me somehow!"

It was probably less than a minute before a woman that was walking by stopped to talk to me. As I looked up at her she said to me, "You know, if you smacked them around a bit more they would listen to you better." Um, not exactly what I needed right then. She then proceeded to say, "Here, I'll do it for you." and as she grabbed one of Jude's wrists and yanked on him she told him sternly, "Get up! Get up!" I was absolutely shocked, and I don't even know what I would have done if another woman hadn't intervened at that time. I mean, I think I'm a reasonably patient person, but when I'm sleep deprived and trying to get my very tired, frightened, and over-stimulated adopted children home I have no patience for ignorant rude people that put their hands on my kids. God's timing was perfect because I very well may have laid a hand on her too. Just being honest. :)

Here's where my prayer was answered. At that precise moment, another woman walked up and said to the first lady, "You know, I think she's ok. We can handle it from here." and thankfully the rude woman left. I proceeded to cry as this woman, whose name is Natalie, kindly asked me questions about the boys, and told me that she was returning from a missions trip to Africa. It didn't take long before discovering that she was from Austin, TX, my hometown. And she goes to a church that is merging with The Austin Stone, the church that Stephen and I attended before moving to St Louis. She had a long layover and stayed with me for over an hour, helping me keep the boys occupied and fairly happy. When Stephen finally returned I told him everything. We were all such an emotional mess by this time. Stephen and I didn't fight at all, but we both shed plenty of tears. I was SO exhausted already and we were stuck in Frankfurt. Stephen told me about how he cried too when he finally got through the line just to be told that there were NO AVAILABLE FLIGHTS for that day and that since we couldn't go through immigrations with the boys we would have to sleep in the airport. Um, right like that was going to happen. Even the police in the airport said it was impossible to get a temporary visa for the boys so that we could got to a hotel, but they graciously offered to let us sleep on the floor of that room. Ha! Just when we thought we could take no more, we were told that there was one flight that had 4 seats left headed for New Jersey in 5 hours. That's it! Surely our problems were over now, right! Right?

Not yet. We were able to go to the gate where that flight would be departing, but Stephen was told that he would again have to go across the airport to "check-in" since this was a flight transfer. Dread was what I felt when I learned that I was again going to be without him. I'll make this part shorter by simply saying that they gave him the run-around for several more hours by telling him to go here and there until right before the flight boarded. The flight attendant at our gate called our name over the loud speaker, and when I anxiously made my way up there she asked quite rudely, "Why haven't you checked in?" I told her that my husband was trying to do so and she asked, "Where is your husband?? You're not getting on this flight without checking in." Thank goodness he walked up, or rather ran up, right then. All I could say was, "Stephen, really?" before again starting to cry. The woman asked Stephen why I was crying, and after explaining everything, they took our bags and let us board. THANK YOU LORD GOD!! All four of us fell asleep immediately after take-off and slept until touch-down.

We arrived in New Jersey that evening around 9 pm, got a taxi, and went to the nearest available hotel for the night because, well, we can do that kind of thing in the United States. Ha! All of us again slept all night, even after sleeping on the plane, and ate a great breakfast at the hotel the next morning. The boys were back to normal after sleeping well, and they ate a ton for breakfast. Jude looked amazed at the buffet. I don't think he had ever seen that much food at one time before.

This time while we waited for our plane to board, the boys sat happily with us in the waiting area, eating some snacks, and talking to my family on the phone for the first time. Stephen taught them to say, "Howdy, howdy, howdy!" They thought that was hilarious, and Jude kept repeating that and "I loooove you!" on the phone. Liam walked around showing everyone around us his snacks and his little toy car, and making lots of new "friends". He has a very outgoing personality, and likes to interact with anyone that will pay attention to him. :)

The 2 hour flight went very well, and the flight attendant was a kind older man that really enjoyed interacting with the boys. Since the flight was only half full, he stopped often to sit down and play games with the boys and make them laugh. My favorite part, though, was when we ordered the boys apple juice and it came with ice in it. We had not gotten ice in any of our drinks before because you're not suppose to drink the water in Ethiopia, and it became clear that the boys didn't know what it was. Jude would say, "Mommy! Mommy!" and put a cube in his mouth for a second and then take it out and point and say, "Ah!" to show me that it was cold. He thought that was hilarious!

We were so glad when we landed in St Louis! It felt amazing to be home, and as we walked through the airport with a kid on each of our shoulders, Stephen and I had the biggest smiles on our faces. The process of getting home was a complete nightmare, but we had made it! We were finally home!

Bringing our boys home: Part 1

So it's been a few days since we arrived home with our boys. What a journey it's been!

Being in Ethiopia was so wonderful. The weather was cool (60s and 70s) since it's the rainy season there, and luckily it only rained for an hour or two each day so we were still able to go out and do things. We wanted to really experience Ethiopia this time since we know it will likely be quite a while before we are able to visit again.

The flight over was absolutely incredible. We had some friends in our church graciously offer to pay for our flights and send us first class, which was so relaxing! We enjoyed the luxurious first class lounges where we were able to rest, eat wonderful food, and even enjoy amazing amenities like a private bathroom with a shower and jetted tub! Our lives have been so busy during this summer season with the band playing at various camps, and I remember thinking the night before we left as I worked to finish tying up all of the loose ends that if only I had at least one day to relax before getting the boys. Well, God answered my prayer! This was exactly what Stephen and I needed, and we are so thankful to have had that time!

We arrived in Ethiopia on Monday evening so we went straight to our guesthouse for a good night's sleep before getting the boys in the morning. We were so happy to see our driver, Yitbarek, whom the boys love so much. He hadn't been the one to pick us up from the airport the night before, and he told us that next morning as we all sipped on some amazing coffee that he had actually quit driving for our agency because they didn't pay him enough. But he said that someone came to him and told him that Esrael and Surafel's parents are back to get them and that we had asked where he was so he agreed to drive again. And the agency gave him a raise to do so! I'm so thankful because our boys treated him like an uncle, and it was so special to have him with us all week. As we drove to the care center that morning Stephen and I could hardly sit still from our excitement of seeing the boys again. We kept saying, "I wonder if they'll be happy to see us? Or maybe they'll understand that they get to come with us this time? Or maybe they'll be scared? Or maybe..."

When we walked inside, one of the nannies directed us to the stairs and as we started to climb it we saw the boys at the top. They both exclaimed "Ah!" when they saw us, and Jude Surafel (4 1/2) literally jumped half way down the stairs into my arms! I hugged him tightly as I kept saying "I love you! I missed you!". Stephen hugged Liam Esrael (3) too, and then we went upstairs to the couches to sit together. We spent about an hour at the care center, playing with all the children and enjoying the coffee that several of the nannies made for us. We passed out little snacks to the kids and roses that we had bought that morning to all of the nannies. When it was time to leave, the boys' nanny, Werkenesh, came forward crying, and kept hugging me and the boys saying, "I love you! I love you!". It was so heart-breaking to have to leave. This woman was truly like a mother to my boys while they were at the care center, and I am forever in her debt for the love that she gave them. Right before we drove away, she came forward again with a picture of herself that she slipped through the window to me. I told her we would not forget her, and that I would send pictures of the boys to her. Seriously, this was so hard to leave her!

We stayed for four days in Ethiopia, and our time there with the boys was absolutely wonderful! The first day they were with us we spent mostly at our guesthouse. The boys were constantly exclaiming "Mommy! Daddy!" literally every 5 minutes or so. We played with the toys we brought, ordered some yummy food in, and gave the boys a bubble bath. When we first drew up the bath it became apparent that the boys had never had a normal bath before. I knew they didn't have a traditional tub at the care center, but still it didn't register to me that this would be a new experience for them until I saw how cautious they were to get in the tub. When they finally let us put them in, they sat down and we scooped up some of the bubble and put it on their heads. They laughed and laughed at that and within a couple of minutes they were splashing and screaming with excitement. Each evening, bath time was what they looked forward to and they spent probably 45 minutes in there each time. One of the evenings, the hot water ran out quickly but the boys were having so much fun they didn't want to get out. When they finally did, they were shivering because our room was so cold. (It had been 60 degrees that day, and our room had no A/C or heat). So I put them on the bed and pulled out my hair dryer. You should have seen the look on their faces! I think they must have thought it was a weapon or something because they looked terrified! After I showed them how the warm air blew out, they both held out their hands and feet for me to warm up with big smiles on their faces.

I was absolutely shocked when the boys went to bed at 8:30 that night and didn't wake up until 7:45 the next morning! I thought for sure they must have just been exhausted and probably wouldn't sleep that well for us in the future. But each day they took a 2-3 hour nap and still slept 10-12 hours each night. Only for one of the nights, Jude Surafel woke up briefly and said, "Daddy?" but went right back to sleep when Stephen rubbed him on his back. This is such a huge blessing that they sleep well, especially since there will be plenty to adjust to and being rested will make it that much easier.

On the last day, we took the boys to eat at a nearby restaurant for lunch so we decided to just walk there. As we walked down the street, several children begged for us to give them food, and a woman with a baby on her back pleaded with us to give her money. I seriously cried each time we would go out because there are literally starving people everywhere, dressed in rags, no shoes, and frighteningly skinny. We kept little snacks in Stephen's backpack to pass out each time we would go somewhere, and occasionally would give out money but we had to be so careful because if others would see money in our hands they would swarm us. I had wondered if it was going to bother the boys to see other children begging. I watched in fascination one day as we were stopped at a light with the window open. Several small kids and women came to the window asking for food or money, and Surafel spoke to them for a minute in Amharic and then reached into his pocket and took out the Ethiopian coins that daddy had given to him the day before. (He had seen them in Stephen's hand and was so proud when Stephen let him have them) He bent forward and placed them in their hands and then looked back at us before laying his head on Stephen's shoulder. I cannot express to you the feeling of both pride in my little boy and anguish over the poverty I was witnessing. It is moments like these that I will most certainly never forget. After lunch that day, we decided to make a quick stop at the Kaldi's coffee shop that was around the corner from our guesthouse. As we were going there, a very young girl with a baby on her back approached and asked in broken English for some food. We asked her to join us, and as we sat at the table she explained to us (with the help of a nice man sitting at the table next to us) that she had her baby when she was 13 years old. I fought to not burst into tears as she told me her story. So many of these young girls sell themselves so that their families will not starve. Then they get pregnant and become moms when they are still little girls themselves. This girl is only about 5 years old than our Kinsey. It is absolutely heart-breaking. We took the girl, whose name I could never pronounce correctly, to the grocery store and told her to pick out some groceries for her and her family. We watched as she timidly, at first, pointed to a bag of rice and then walked up and down the 4 or 5 aisles pointing to random things. I was not about to stop her. After we finished up there, we went outside and talked for a bit, sharing about God's love for her, and then she hugged and kissed us saying, "God bless you!". I didn't promise lightly when I told her we would be praying for her. I'm so thankful to have been able to experience these type of opportunities. I know God uses it to help kill the selfishness in me. When I think of this young girl, all of the materialistic desires that I have here at home start to fade. I pray that God would continue to change my heart to care more for the things that matter and less for the things that will be of no consequence in the end.

The boys and I took a long nap that last afternoon while Stephen went with Yitbarek to buy some souvenirs and coffee beans. Our flight was at 11 pm that evening (all flights out of Ethiopia are in the evening) so we knew we would need our rest. We woke up in time to go with Yitbarek to a really cool traditional Ethiopian restaurant for dinner. It was amazing! They had a stage at the front with a traditional band, and six dancers that would perform various dances in different costumes. At one point the dancers came off stage to dance with people at the tables, and Stephen was selected to stand up and dance with them. It was hilarious to watch as Stephen mimicked their unique moves. I'm happy to say that I got it on video and pictures too, although Stephen was embarrassed when he asked me not to put the video on facebook. Ha! It's funny to see him embarrassed because it doesn't happen often! :) The food was brought out on a large platter and set on the small round grass-woven table in front of us. The injera, or flatbread, covered the bottom and various scoops of saucy meats and lentils as well as boiled eggs were placed all over it. It was so good! Seriously, I really really enjoyed it. Yitbarek helped the boys eat, and we all laughed at some of the silly costumes that the dancers wore. At one point they dressed up as some sort of animal with tails attached that they kept shaking. :)

When we arrived at the airport, Yitbarek spent some time saying goodbye to the boys. I know it was hard for him since he was so affectionate with the boys, and I honestly don't think they realized that this was likely the last time that they would see him. As excited as we were to be heading home, there was so much that we were grieving at the same time.

I'll write more about our trip home and how we are doing now that we are home tomorrow. As you can imagine, there isn't a lot of time for blogging with four kids running around! :) I'm so thankful that they all go to bed at a normal time so that, at least so far, I still have a few hours in the evening to relax. Let's hope that lasts! :)

Ethiopia: 11 days and counting!

Life as we know it is about to change. In just over a week and a half, on July 3, we will be on a plane to Ethiopia to go get our little boys! I can't believe we're finally almost there. I can't believe we actually get to bring them home now.

The process to get here has been so incredible. Looking back, I can see how God has been in control over everything, both the good and the hard stuff. We've seen him preparing us throughout this process mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Each time we would look at the mountain ahead of us and start to falter we would see him gently step in and redirect our focus back to him. Going through something that is completely out of your control may seem scary, but I think it is one of the best things you can possibly do to grow your faith because it is in that time, when you simply can't control things, that you see God moving mountains. And going through those kind of situations actually gives you courage, not because you are doing anything by yourself, but because you see God in a more intimate and close way. You see his character, his tenderness, and his faithfulness.

I'm certainly not saying that we should all just go do crazy impulsive things, but I am saying that we shouldn't be afraid to let God lead us to do things that are bigger than ourselves and out of our control. That is where you will experience him on a deeper level. That's what he has been showing us.

Many people think that the hard part is almost over. We're almost done with the adoption process, and now we get to start our new life together. While we are absolutely thrilled about this, we know that the hard part is just beginning. We are bringing home two little boys that have experienced more grief and loss than many of us have as adults. They are malnourished, frightened, and speaking a completely different language than us. No, the hard part is just beginning. We are ready, though. Ready to show these precious boys that they have a family that loves them deeply. Ready to show them, day in and day out, that we will not leave them. Ready to show them that whether they are on their best behavior or throwing a tantrum, it will not affect our love for them. And most importantly, we're ready to show them the love that God has for them, that he would give Jesus to be a Savior for them just as he did for us.

My birthday is coming up in a few days, and I'll be turning 26 years old. It feels strange to be a mom to four kids by the time I turn 26! haha It certainly isn't the "normal" thing to do, and believe me I've experienced my fair share of sneers and judgmental comments. However, I don't regret becoming a mom so young, not for a moment. I'm certainly not the type that needed to "experience freedom" before settling down which is a common perspective for people my age. There are so many joys of being married and being a parent! I feel so blessed that I have my family. :)

So here we are, on the verge of something that will change our lives forever. We are excited to finally be bringing them home and confident that just as the Lord provided for us throughout the adoption process, he will continue to be faithful as we start our new life together. God is so good!!

Change

As we near the end of the school year I can't help but think about how everything is about to change for us. It's been such a great year! Kinsey finishes first grade in two weeks, and Keira finishes her last year of preschool. I can't believe how much my little girls have grown in just the last year.

This past year I've also taken care of a two-year-old little girl named McKenna. She is such a happy easy-going little girl, and it feels like she's part of the family. We're going to miss her quite a bit next year! When I first started watching her she was barely one year old. We literally watched her grow from a baby to a toddler. This morning as I was dropping the girls off at school she said in her baby voice, "Bye Kinsey! Bye Keira! Have... a.... day!" She is so sweet. :)

Stephen's job is also changing, both at the church and in his band. We are excited as he moves into a greater role in international missions among other things. This is something that we are both so passionate about and excited to work together on! As we move into the summer season, when the guys will travel for 5 weeks of camps, I can't help but think about what God is doing in the band. Not only is the dynamic changing with a new band member and new band girlfriends (which we're very excited about!) but we're also encouraged to see God continuing to mold and shape the band's vision to be more and more for mercy, justice, and compassion. Not that the band was ever about the guys just trying to be rock stars or anything like that, but you can just see God continuing to grow and mature the vision and the purpose of it. I'm so thankful for this group of people and the blessing that it's been to consider them family. :)

Certainly the biggest change to come is that we will be bringing home the boys in just a few short weeks! We won't know the exact date for our embassy meeting until a week or two before we travel so we still have at least one or two weeks before then. In some ways it makes it hard to plan since we don't know when we're going yet, but we have so much peace about it. God has been so faithful to guide our steps this far, and we know he will continue to see this through until completion. It's been so amazing to see him working in our lives along the way not only to provide for us but also to strengthen us and our marriage. I've heard quite a few comments from people about how they'd be afraid to adopt because it seems so hard, and I keep thinking, "You're missing out!" Truly it has been an incredible privilege for us. Not only do we get to bring home two precious little boys, but we've also gained courage and insight and perseverance, and our faith has been strengthened. Yes, it's very hard, but the best things in life always are. It is an experience that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world!

So this is a new season of change for us. We move forward confidently, knowing that God is guiding our steps and our hearts as we have continued to ask him to do so. Perfect love casts out all fear so we continue on boldly yet prayerfully with much thankfulness for the many many blessings that God has given us. It is only by his grace.

Home again

Hey guys! We arrived home a couple of days ago after an incredible week in Ethiopia with our little boys. I wrote a few blogs while we were there but was not able to post them because of internet issues while we were in Ethiopia. You can view the blogs for the first few days below, however I didn't write one for our last day because I ended up getting food poisoning and stayed in bed. Thankfully, one of the other couples had stomach antibiotics that they gave me, and I was feeling reasonably well by the time we had to leave for the airport that evening. It stinks that I was not able to go to the care center that last day and say good-bye to the boys, but Stephen went and spent time with them. An interpreter was there to tell Surafel that we would be coming back to get them soon, but still it's hard to have to tell them that we are leaving without them. It's awful to tell you the truth, but we trust that God is in control. Soon they will be home, and we'll be able to start our new life together. :)

Our court day! (day 4)

Today was our court appointment to officially adopt Surafel and Esrael. What an incredible experience it was! We, along with two other adoptive couples from our agency, went to the court house this morning around 9:30. We had no idea what to expect. When we arrived, we climbed up 3 or 4 flights of stairs, walked down a narrow hallway and entered into a very modest size room that was already very full of other people. We stood as a group, wondering how long we would be waiting. We quickly noticed that many of the other families there were European, and few were speaking in English. It was so interesting to see such a wide variety of people, all there in a small waiting room to adopt children from Ethiopia.

One by one families were called into the next room, and within a minute or so they would exit. We kept wondering what they do in there that takes such a short period of time. Slowly the room cleared out until we were some of the last people waiting. Then we heard our agency's name called. All three of us couples, along with our agency's representative, Haile, entered into the next room. The judge sat behind a desk on one end of the room, and we all sat in chairs along the opposite wall. She first asked which family was adopting each child, and then began by asking a few questions.

"Do you all have children of your own?"

"Yes", we replied in unison.

"Have you told your children about the adoption of these children?"

"Yes."

"Are you going to teach your adopted children about their culture?"

"Yes."

"Do you understand that this cannot be reversed?"

"Yes."

"Okay, that is all I wanted to know. They are yours."

Apparently our MOWA letter had arrived a couple of weeks prior to our trip. We looked at each other in shock as they opened the door for us to leave. I think all of us were crying as we made our way down the stairs and back out to the van. They're really ours now? These boys...they are our children... for real. It was the same feeling as when Kinsey and Keira were placed in our arms for the first time. What a wonderful feeling!

We all ate a quick lunch before heading to the care center to see OUR kids! I watched as Surafel kicked a soccer ball, and Esrael chased him around with a ball of his own. These boys have no idea what just happened, but it's going to change everything for them.

We decided to take the boys to go get ice-cream to celebrate a successful court day. Up until this point we hadn't seen anything that looked like a regular grocery store, but our driver, Yitbarek, was able to find us a nearby supermarket. Now, supermarket in Ethiopia actually means a small store that is about five or six aisles wide, but still it was the most modern store we had seen yet. When we walked in we were shocked and excited to see a few car baskets at the front. The boys climbed inside excitedly and started pretending to drive. They were having a blast, and it was so awesome to see them really enjoying themselves.

The store had a small soft serve ice-cream machine, and when I handed Surafel a cup of it as he sat happily in his car basket, he looked up at me and slowly said, "Thank... you." I bent down and kissed his cheek, and clapped for him for speaking in English. He looked so proud as I kept telling him "Good job! What a smart boy!". I think this is going to be one of my favorite memories for years to come.

When we climbed back in the van, Stephen sat in the front holding a large box filled with little cups of ice-cream for the rest of the kids at the care center. I was a little worried as I sat in between Surafel and Esrael that Surafel might get upset because he always sat in Stephen's lap. But he sat happily next to me as he ate his ice-cream, glancing up from time to time with a big smile on his face. He kept taking a bite and then would slide a little closer to me, then a little more until he just climbed into my lap. I held him tightly as I thought about how within just a few short days this little guy has really let his guard down with us despite his past trauma. I can't wait for the day that we get to bring them home, and they get to experience life in a loving family every single day.

When we arrived back at the care center everyone hopped out and started handing out ice-cream to the other children. Surafel proudly gave some to each of his friends. Esrael insisted on staying in the van though. I'm telling you, he is crazy about cars! We sat in the front seat with our driver as he let Esrael hold onto the steering wheel. I kept trying to feed him some of the ice-cream, but he would just shake his head and kept pulling on the steering wheel. Then Yitbarek offered him a bite of his, and he took it. He laughed and said in broken English, "It's because... he loves...me." I laughed too and said, "Yes, he does. And he loves your car too!". He thought that was hilarious. I'm so thankful that Yitbarek is so loving and playful with our boys. He acts more like an uncle with them. The boys see him weekly since he is the official driver for our agency, and Esrael especially is very close to him.

We were sad to say good-bye again. This time Esrael wouldn't let go of me, and Surafel clung to Stephen too. Their nanny came and pulled them away so that we could leave. It was awful to leave like that. I am really thankful for their nanny, though, because she is incredibly kind and loving with them. You can tell that they love her, and she is always showering them with affection. Earlier that day, she came up while I was holding Esrael and squeezed his chubby cheeks and kissed them. Then she said in English, "I love you!". Esrael made a face back at her and they started sticking their tongues out at each other playfully. I'm thankful for this woman, and that she is truly caring for our boys!

We've still got a ways to go before our boys come home. It's usually 6-8 weeks before the embassy date is set which is when we come back to Ethiopia and all of the formal paperwork is finally finished processing. In the grand scheme of things, 6-8 weeks isn't a long time, but when I think about each individual day that our boys have to wait in the care center without us, it seems like forever. We rest in the sovereignty of God, knowing that He is faithful not only to provide for all of our needs, but also for our sons. Jude Surafel and Liam Esrael.

Day 2 & 3 in Ethiopia

These past few days have been so incredibly amazing, so exhausting, so wonderful…

On our second trip to the care center, it was so encouraging to see Esrael, our two-year-old, spot us when we arrived and run straight to us. As I held him, we peeked into the tiny classroom on the right hand side that had a misspelled sign over it saying, “Pre-shcool”. We listened quietly as the four and five year olds repeated “One, two, three, four…” after their teacher. She saw us standing there, said something to Surafel , and he quickly jumped up and turned around. Then a huge smile came across his face and he ran to Stephen to hug him. Stephen picked him up and put him on his shoulders and they bounced down the hallway to the front steps where we had left a suitcase full of toys and snacks. I took Esrael out too, and we all sat on the steps looking through the suitcase. Both boys enjoyed some juice boxes and oranges, and then we played with the bubbles.

The family that is adopting Surafel’s best friend also sat on the steps, showing their little boy, Nati, what they had brought for him. He also had bubbles, and it was so funny to watch as the boys blew bubbles in each others faces and ears. At one point, one of the bubbles popped in Nati’s eye, and they started roughhousing. We sat and watched as Surafel and Nati would chase each other and hold up their fist or leg as if they were going to hit or kick each other, and then they would drop it back down. At that moment I thought to myself, “Oh my gosh, having boys is going to be so different!” haha The other family has several girls already, and Nati will be their first boy so we joked together about how different it is going to be for us to have boys!

Stephen kicked a ball back and forth with Surafel, and ended up tickling him and swung him up onto his shoulders again. Surafel pretended to play drums on Stephen’s head, and then he bend down and kissed Stephen’s cheek several times. I almost cried as I watched Stephen pull Surafel down, swing him in his arms several times and then kiss him back.

Things seemed to be going very smoothly, and about the time I started to wonder when we would see some behavioral issues from all of the trauma that Surafel in particular been through, something happened. Surafel found a hollow black stick, similar to PVC pipe, and after banging on a few outdoor trash cans like he was playing the drums, Stephen snuck it out of his hand. He jumped around trying to catch it while Stephen would swing it around and gently poke his tummy or tap his legs, keeping it just out of his reach. You could tell Surafel was getting frustrated that he couldn’t grab it back, and when he finally did he smacked Stephen’s leg with it as hard as he could. When Stephen gently told him “No” he ran off with it to play with his friend. But it wasn’t more than a few minutes before his friend took something of his and so he picked up the stick again and hit his friend.

At this point, we felt we needed to intervene so Stephen took the stick from him and again said “No, no” gently but firmly. Surafel’s head dropped, and he burst into tears. Stephen picked him up and and held him tightly as some of the nannies came outside to console him, but Surafel wouldn’t let them. He sobbed with his face buried in Stephen’s shoulder, so Stephen sat on the ground with him in his lap, leaning against the outside of the building. He cried hard for a good 30 or 40 minutes straight. Stephen quietly sang in his ear, and repeated, “Surafel, I love you. Ewedhalo .” (which is Amharic for I love you) I sat nearby on the steps with Esrael and tried not to cry at the thought of how difficult Surafel’s life has been so far, and how I probably would throw a fit too if I had experienced as much trauma and loss as he has. Poor baby, he’s been through so much. As hard as it was to witness this, I’m glad that it happened because we are already starting to build trust with him. Stephen was able to show him that even though he was acting up, we are still going to hug and hold him and tell him how much he is loved. I have a feeling that it’s going to take a lot of these kinds of moments with him where we are able to show him that no matter what, we are not leaving and will not stop loving him.

In our training seminar, we were told that you cannot be too patient, too gracious, too lavishing, too loving when it comes to traumatized children. They need countless experiences where they are able to see that they have a mom and dad that love them deeply, that are not going to leave, and that will meet all of their needs and even many of their wants. They gave the analogy of two baskets that have rocks in them, one symbolizing good experiences and one symbolizing bad experiences. With traumatized children, they’ve had so many bad “rocks” and as an adoptive parent, you must consistently reach into their lives and move the bad “rocks” into the good basket. To replace bad experiences with ones of love, joy, security, and stability. It’s a hard job to move all of those rocks from the bad basket over to the good one, and it takes not only consistency but also time. BUT studies show that when children are placed with loving families, they can heal incredibly well over time and grow up to be happy and well-adjusted adults. That’s what we want for Surafel and Esrael. Esrael doesn’t seem to have as hard of a time with everything. Though he looks wide-eyed and nervous at times, he’s still such a baby with much fewer memories of his past. I can only hope that he doesn’t remember as much of the pain that they have been through.

We left that day on a very good note, and as Surafel started to look sad that we had to leave, we had his nanny tell him that tomorrow we would take them to our hotel to play for the day. He looked very excited and hugged us tightly. We showed up the next morning, and sure enough the boys were ready to go! Surafel looked toward the van expectantly, and he had the biggest smile on his face as we climbed in. Both of the boys loved the drive. Esrael especially loves cars. The nannies often smile and laugh at him because he is always saying “Makina! Makina!” (Car! Car!) We spent the afternoon in our hotel room, first playing with the cars and planes on the floor while drinking juice boxes. Stephen had lunch delivered from a nearby restaurant and Esrael insisted on sitting in my lap while we ate. He sat facing me while I fed him ravioli and then proceeded to try and feed me french fries. It was so cute how he would put one up to my mouth, I would bite it, and then he would put the other half in his mouth. Surafel sat happily eating his food, and exclaiming something in Amharic from time to time. It’s so hard to not be able to understand the things he’s saying. He’s so expressive, and I love to watch him talking. At one point during the meal Esrael dropped his toy “Makina”. Surafel quickly bent down to get it for him, and as he handed it to his brother he said, “Car.” I looked up and said, “Surafel! You said it in English! You said car! Very good!!” He looked so proud, and had such a big grin on his face. I love his smile!

Towards the end of the afternoon, I noticed that although the boys had had a ton to eat and drink neither of them had used the restroom since we left the care center that morning. I walked with Esrael into the bathroom and asked if he needed to go while pointing to the potty. He slowly shrugged his shoulders and walked out, but within a couple of minutes he came up to me while pulling on the front of his shorts. So I helped him sit up there while he went. It was then that it hit me that my two-year-old is potty trained! This means no diapers for us. Yay! J Esrael loves washing his hands, which is such a good thing in a third-world country. We must have washed our hands 10 or 12 times that afternoon.

I got the cutest video of Esrael sitting on the ground pretending to fly his airplane in the air. He discovered a piece of chocolate on the nearby table and sat down to unwrap it. It was hilarious to watch him slowly but surely get it open and then transfer it from hand to hand as it melted all over the place. He finally just put the whole thing in his mouth, and then looked around for something to wipe his hands with. When he found nothing, he reached forward and wiped his fingers on his toy airport. Daddy then came to the rescue with a wipe for him. I think this is going to be one of our favorite home videos for years to come. J

There was no crying when we took them home late that afternoon, but Esrael clung tightly to me, and a nanny had to try to distract him with a toy car while I slipped out the door. I can’t wait for the day that we don’t have to leave them anymore. We can’t wait to bring them home, and show them that they really are part of our family forever. Tomorrow morning is our court date. If the MOWA letter is there, we will probably be able to bring them home either late May or sometime in June. If it’s not, things will be delayed 3-4 weeks. We have a peace about it and know that God knows when is the best time for them to come home. He certainly sees a bigger picture than us so we trust him that he will be faithful to take care of us and the boys. Still, as parents we want to have our children home as soon as possible. J