Parenting

Parenting is one of the scariest things you can possibly do. I mean, seriously! We are completely responsible for the well-being of another person... their physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being. And one of the things that is so difficult as you watch your children grow is to see them make mistakes. You wonder "Am I being too easy on them?" and then you think "Wait, am I being too strict with them? After all, they're just children. They can't be expected to behave like adults." And then you see them do something that you do. Perhaps a bad habit that you are trying to break. For sure, the hardest part of parenting is leading by example in every area of your life.

Everyone has heard the saying "Do what I say, not what I do." But certainly that is completely opposite of how we are to parent according to the Bible. We teach our children what is acceptable by how we act and react to everything in our lives.

For me, the hardest part about parenting is being consistent. My friend said the other day that we often think our children go though fazes where they will be really good one week and difficult the next. But while certain factors definitely affect our kids (like lack of sleep or unhealthy eating habits), many times it is us as parents that can throw our kids off balance. I'll notice when I am consistent regarding discipline with the girls they behave really well. When I follow our rule of "You get a warning, but if you ignore the warning you get into trouble" my girls don't try to push the limits as much. But if we've had a crazy week, and I'm tired and I let the "little things" slide, they start pushing the limits with everything.

Kinsey is six and a half, and I love having conversations with her about stuff like this because she is so smart. One time, as I was tucking her into bed, I reminded her of the importance of being obedient and how she can always tell us if she is having a hard time with something. She told me, "I want to obey, but sometimes it is so hard! I want to do what is right, but my brain tells me to do something different."

It's hard to see your children struggle with self-control the same way that we as adults do too. There is no solution to offer them to take the struggle away. We will struggle with sin our entire lives. But praise God that he is so much better than any of the things we struggle with. He's better than the short-lived pleasure we experience when we sin. The joy we find in knowing and following him far outweighs anything this world has to offer. And the more we let this truth guide our lives, the more our children will see us lead them by example and not just by our words.

Our children's view of everything, especially their view of God, is shaped by us. What a huge responsibility! What a great privilege we have! Parenting is one of the greatest privileges we could ever have. It's one of life's greatest blessings.

Peter and Calvin

Have you ever wanted to help children living in poverty all over the world, but you don't feel you are able to adopt right now? We sponsor two little boys through Compassion International, and it has been one of the most rewarding things we've ever done!

Calvin is six, and he's from Ghana. He was four when we started sponsoring him. That first picture we received of him is so memorable. He had the sweetest smile. He doesn't say much in his letters, usually just things like "You're my friend" and "I love you" (They have translators that write everything down in English for the younger kids.) But Calvin loves to draw pictures. I love his drawings because they are so simple. A ball, a tree, a truck. He recently became a big brother, and he says he loves to help his mother take care of his baby sister.

Our other sponsored child is Peter, a 10 year old little boy from Uganda. (He was 8 when we started sponsoring him) The first picture I saw of him still haunts me. He was standing in front of these huge shady trees, wearing a dirty suit that was much too big for him, and he was barefoot. He didn't smile. He looked as if he had been crying. Most of the children's profiles show a picture of a child with a big smile on their face, as if to say "Choose me!" but Peter looked so sad.

Compassion provides paper and pre-stamped envelopes for you to be able to correspond with your child. The letters go to that country's Compassion office, where they sort them and any gifts that were sent, and then send them on to the villages or towns. I remember the first letter we wrote to Peter. We told him how glad we were that we were able to be his sponsors. We told him that we loved him already, and that God loves him too. He wrote back, telling us little things about his life.

It's been two years since then, and I get so excited when we get a letter from him in the mail. Today we received one. He started by saying how excited he was to receive our gift. We sent him $25. (I tell you this simply to show how something little can be HUGE for these kids!) This is something we do a few times a year for each of the boys. Our monthly sponsorship provides them with food, medical care, and school. The gifts are special for them as they are able to spend it on whatever they wish. (FYI- when we went on our Compassion trip to El Salvador last fall we were told that 95% of the time when a child receives a "general gift" (as they call it) the child spends it on food, because their families are so poor and that is the greatest need.)

Peter sent a picture of himself with the things he had bought. A new shirt, pants, and shiny black shoes. A soda and piece of candy. And a goat. He smiled proudly with his arm around the goat's neck. I'm not sure if it is a milking goat, or if they will eventually eat it. For now, I'm sure it makes a nice pet. :) He went on to ask us to pray for him to do well in his studies. (Children that do well in school through Compassion's program are able to get scholarships to go on to college!) And at the end he said that his family wanted us to know how much they love us, that they love us with a great love. I cried when I read that. :)

I can't even begin to explain how amazing it is to be able to make a difference in a child's life. To form a relationship, a friendship with them. To show them God's love, not just tell them about it. We are very privileged people to grow up in America where not only our basic needs are met, but most of us have houses and cars and nice clothes. Our children don't have to go to bed hungry. They have plenty of toys to play with and movies to watch. It's easy to forget that this isn't the case with most of the world out there, especially when many of us have never been to another country where things are completely different. I know I was shocked and convicted when I saw how differently so many others live for the first time.

Perhaps God blessed us with an abundance of wealth and resources, not to pamper and spoil ourselves and our children, but to use it to help others? This is what God has been showing me the last few years. I wasn't born in America because God cares more about me more than the children born in poverty. Why has God blessed America? What has God blessed me? I am convinced that he has given to me so that I may give to others.  Maybe we're only blessed in order to bless others.

www.compassion.com