It seems like our family is ever changing as we continue to bond and adapt to this new life of ours. I can honestly say that going from two kids to four overnight is not necessarily an easy thing. Go figure! :) I'm the kind of mom that is very "go with the flow" and tends to be more laid back when it comes to structure and routine. And while I think I will naturally always be this way to some extent, I am definitely seeing myself change some simply out of necessity. I mean, I like having my kids play carefree around the house or in the backyard, getting dirty or into mischief usually. In the past I haven't been quite as strict on bedtimes. I might have let the laundry go for a few days or *gasp* even closer to a week. (My mom will be mortified to read this) ;)
But I'm finding that it is necessary with two more children in our home, particularly two that need a little more attention than the average 3 and 5 year olds, to bring a little more structure to our home to keep things moving smoothly. I've also seen this to be necessary for me, as a person, and for Stephen and I. For instance, I highly value bedtimes always being between 7 and 7:30 now, not only because I've seen a general improvement in my kids behavior, but because after spending the whole day pouring myself into my four kids, Stephen and I truly need that time after the kids go to bed to connect and unwind. I pay very close attention to my family's nutrition (which I always have, but even more strictly now) because I know that our boys missed out on healthy eating their first few years. Since good nutrition, such as eating veggies and fruits and lean protein, is such a huge part of the overall health of a person, this is something that I feel I must work hard to maintain. And I usually can't just plan to leave the house at the drop of a hat because I know the boys do best if I prepare them and explain things to them in advance. It's not that they aren't happy when I tell them we need to go somewhere, but they get so excited they literally can't stop asking questions to try to figure out what's going on. "Mom, what doing? What this? Wow! Where going? Ah? Go car? Go store? Ah? What doing??" haha
With all of the continual changes happening in our family, there is one in particular that I am really enjoying and that is the fact that the boys now speak English well enough to share some of their memories from Ethiopia. Until more recently, I was unsure of whether or not it would bother them if we talked about Ethiopia so I kind of slowly tested the waters to see if this was something they wanted to talk about or not. To my surprise, they were very excited to talk about Ethiopia and what they remembered. The other day, I had pulled out the boys' suitcases to pack for our trip for Thanksgiving (which we are currently in the car driving to). The boys saw the suitcases and said, "Ohhhh!!! Dis red one. Dis blue one. Dis in Ethiopia." So we sat on the floor next to the suitcases talking about some of our experiences in Ethiopia. I asked the boys, "Do you remember when Daddy brought ice-cream to the hotel in Ethiopia?" The boys' eyes lit up and they talked about what color ice-cream they had eaten and how they got so messy. I said, "And what did we do after ice-cream?" Both boys jumped up and said, "Bath! Big BIG bubbles!!" haha
I just love that we have gotten to the point that we are able to look back together at some of the memories we have already made over the past five months. And I also really love that the boys are old enough to remember Ethiopia and some of the special people that were in their lives like their nanny, Werkenesh, and our agency's driver, Yitbarek, who was like an uncle to them. We have talked about them fondly a few times, and the boys seem to be ok with the fact that we don't see them anymore, though this is still a sad reality. I know, even as orphans in Ethiopia, they still had to give up a lot to be here with us. Once Jude told me very matter-of-factly, "Mom? Yitbarek... Ethiopia. Me... here. Me... America." I kind of froze when he said that and tried to study his face to see how he was feeling about the statement he had just made. We looked at each other for a moment but then he smiled that beautiful smile of his, and I picked him up and hugged him tightly. I'm so glad that we are able to share and talk like this, even through their broken, yet oh so adorable English.
The other day after eating lunch, Liam told me, "Mommy? Liam hurting tummy." We rocked together in the rocking chair in his room, and when Jude came in he said, "What doing?" to which Liam exclaimed, "Jude! Liam tummy boo-boo." This apparently brought back a memory for Jude, and he started telling me about how when he was in Addis Ababa, (or as he says Addis Aba) he had a bad tummy ache and started throwing up, (the hand motion he used for this was pretty cute.) and his nanny had to give him a bath. I gave him a hug and said, "Oh Jude, I'm so sorry you had a boo-boo in Ethiopia. Did Werkenesh help you to feel better?" And he said, "Yeah. All better. No boo-boo America. Me good." I love when he shares things like this with me, and I get a little bit of a closer glimpse into what his life was like before we came for him.
Adopting our boys has been such a huge blessing to us. So many people have said to us, "Wow, that must be pretty hard, huh?" And our response is always, "You're right. It is very hard. But it is so worth it. There is so much joy to be had in this process. We've experienced God's love and faithfulness in a deeper way that we wouldn't have otherwise known." I know that each adoptive family has their own unique joys and struggles, and I truly am not trying to minimize the challenges of adoption. They are very real. But I've found that there is such a deep joy in the midst of these challenges if we are seeking God's heart in the midst of our circumstances. He is so good and so faithful, even in the challenging times! Every time I look into my two precious little boys faces I am reminded of God's deep love for his people. Every time I hear them giggle I am reminded of his faithfulness to heal our brokenness. There will be brokenness for each of us, but he is good and kind and gentle and faithful to take care of us and to restore us in his perfect timing. This is the beauty of Jesus.
